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Wait On His Leading

Wait On His Leading

I like to be transparent. My prayer is that my testimonies will shed some light on the pain and sorrow the love of the world will bring. In referring to the “world”, I am not speaking of people. Although, at times, love for a person can be a hindrance if it becomes idolatry. But, I am speaking of the world in all of its seeming popularity, glitz and glamour, fun and laughter, trends, rights, political-correctness, love of money and striving.

One of gifts the Holy Spirit has blessed me with is the ability to see colors, fashions, styles, hair and makeup, see the best in others and encourage women who struggle with insecurity and feel discouraged. This gift was brought to the forefront in 1988. Funny thing about a gift…the more you use it, the more it expands into other areas, and the least you use it, the more you lose. 

I had the wonderful opportunity to work for many Cosmetic companies in great stores in two different states, and to work with as well as meet some great people. When first hired into this position, I was completely humbled and not only did I question the Lord for putting me there, but others in the stores (with far more training and experience) questioned why I was there also. I excelled in all humility, completely leaning on the Holy Spirit, and used all of the spiritual training I had received for years. 

These awesome gifts were extending into other areas, and many were drawn to Him through them. I took the lower position and served women daily while listening to their problems. I was very blessed. But, things took a turn when, years later, promotion was knocking at my door. 

Listen, sometimes people want to promote you more than the Holy Spirit’s timing for you. I should have seen the signs and listened to the Holy Spirit, but I was drawn away by my own lust (James 1:13). This promotion turned into being exalted far beyond being able to withstand the temptations of my flesh, and more than I was able to handle on my own without the Lord. 

Now, the feelings of being unworthy and the insecurity became a hindrance to the work of the Lord as it was no longer humility and relying on the Lord, but pride, money, and striving for success pushing me forward. I endeavored to be better than the manager before me. 

Years into this I was so engrossed in fashion and cosmetics, no longer to use it as a blessing, but to use it for my own lusts. I am so ashamed to say the pictures on the wall of my house went from scriptures to promotion posters of the Cosmetic company I worked for (James 4:4). I did not even know or had been taught about deliverance or emotional healing, at that point in my walk with the Lord. 

Years into this lifestyle and weak in my own flesh, I had turned away from the Holy Spirit which caused within me envy, jealousy, and competition (James 4:1-3). I grieved the Holy Spirit with my lust of the world, and it was not until 12 years in backslidden that I lost the position and my reputation. 

Stores that had been striving with each other to have me work in their store now turned against me, and so did the women I had befriended. Many things happened in my soul as a result of this idolatry. I hope I can be honest. 

In 2007 all I had done and all I had offended flashed before me like a movie and I spent hours on my face weeping (James 4:9). In all humility, I was and am still so broken over my choices. I hope I can save one from difficult choices and correction. I will now, by the grace of God, wait on His leading and will remain humble before Him (James 4:13-15). 

There is forgiveness in Jesus. The gifts and call are without repentance. If I can save one from such destruction, let this be my goal. Thank you for letting me be transparent.

-Lori Whitehouse

Gift of Repentance

Gift of Repentance

When my son, Aaron was two and a half years old, I noticed a change in his attitude and behavior. My days previously, up to this point, were chasing him around laughing and playing. But each day now consisted of constant correction- to my own frustration. I am not perfect. It was painful. 

One hot, summer day in July I had set him in his room, closed the door and told him he needed to stay in there until his attitude changed. He screamed and kicked the door. I slid down a wall crying next to my wood stove begging and pleading with God asking Him to reveal to me and what the problem was, why was this happening. This was the first time I heard the audible voice of God “Guilt produces more sin, Lori”. What??? I had never heard that before. 

Little did I know the Spirit of Wisdom that visited me with His presence years earlier in the dark had just given me a nugget to hold onto for the remainder of Aaron’s life. I jumped off the floor, stopped crying and went in to his room. He stopped screaming as I asked him to come sit in my lap. “Aaron, God just told me you feel bad about something”. “Yes”, he said hanging his head. Now you have my attention, boy! “What did you do?”. “I hit Nonan (Lauren)”. 

Understanding my small understanding of the grace of God I mustered every creative idea I could think of. I grabbed a basket and piece of paper and a pencil. I asked him what made him feel bad and what he had done. He rattled off various things (some I was not aware of) and I began writing every one down on little pieces of paper. I was amazed at how much he was able to comprehend, almost like we were having an adult conversation. I made a game of folding up each paper and throwing it into a small, wicker basket. I brought him into the living room and set the basket with his “sins” of paper on top of the wood stove. He was curious and thought I was playing a game. I had him sit down on his little stool and asked him “Aaron, do you believe that God will forgive you for what you feel bad about?” He looked down and said “yes”. I sat down on the floor next to his stool and reached out for his hand. I wanted to perform a symbolic act for my almost-3-year-old. I said “Aaron, I am going to help you pray and ask the Lord to forgive you, ok?” He giggled and was ready and willing to play the game. As he grabbed my hand, I began to lead him …..”God please forgive me”…..If ever I saw my first “SUDDENLY” of an awesome sign and wonder- this was it! 

A sudden rushing sound of a mighty wind blew over that wood stove. The stove was not in use, it was July. I opened up my eyes and in my own unbelief gasped! “Mommy you see that? Look what God do!!”, said Aaron. I was shocked that the Almighty God showed His awesome hand to a little boy who was struggling. All of the papers I had placed in the basket were gone, gone! From that point forward, he began to dance, run and play again. I was in awe! I didn’t know then the necessity of a visual, symbolic act of forgiveness would be so significant for his teenage years that he would need to lean on and remember it years later. 

Are you struggling with sin to the point that it has become bondage to you? Are you struggling in sin more and more because of guilt? Have you walked away from the Lord and now feel lost, unable to return? There is forgiveness through the blood of Jesus. And God wants to reveal sins to show what is holding you back from His great, awesome plan. 

Repentance is a GIFT, not a thing to dread. The gift is the very thing revealed by a Holy God for the sake of walking freely before Him and moving in the right direction alongside of Him. 

Aaron experienced freedom that day and his joy returned. He was again free to run and play. Are you missing the freedom of smelling the flowers, seeing the sunshine and enjoying all of life and hearing the sweet, quiet voice of God? Ask for the Gift of repentance unashamedly and without fear. Weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning.

-Lori Whitehouse

An Invitation

An Invitation

 

We see walking on the water sometimes as stepping out into a glorious powerful move of the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to stretch us and do His exhilarating works through us, and it can be. We long to be used by the Holy Spirit in anticipation and excitement to see His Kingdom come, and we should. But, what if (at the beckoning of the Lord through circumstances beyond your control) it is akin to the desperate cry given by Jonah himself? 

“All Your billows and Your waves passed over me. Then I said, ‘I have been cast out of Your sight…. The waters surrounded me, even to my soul, The deep closed in around me. Weeds were wrapped around my head. I went down to the moorings of the mountains, the earth with its bars closed behind me forever…….. my soul fainted within me.”

Have you felt this? I have. We love the song “Deep Cries Out” and sing it with joy and vigor and even dance. But, what if the drawing of the Lord into the backside of the desert, into the dark, choking waters is actually an invitation?

For the Lord says…..”Let my people go that they may feast with Me in the wilderness’- Exodus 5:1

Feasting and the wilderness are, seemingly, two polar opposites. However, the Lord says of the invitation “The wilderness and the wasteland will be glad for them”. (Isaiah 35:1) 


Falling into the deep, or the dry desert waste places does not, at first, make our hearts glad. If we’re not careful, we will (like those who are drowning) grab on frantically to the familiar to save ourselves and begin to fear. Worse yet, we may begin to complain and attempt to run away. But the Lord has designed it and also desires to work something within us. A Divine set-up, if you will, to show Himself in a new way. New, fresh manna every day is laid out before you at your feet waiting for your heart to respond. How many times we run back to the same song, the same verse, the same prophetic word to encourage ourselves. But, God has orchestrated the dry place to show us more of Himself IN the darkness. If we don’t run away from the testing, the feasting, the quiet, the dryness there is a promise to us as the desert releases us:

“The eyes of the blind will be opened, the ears of the deaf will be unstopped, the lame will leap like a deer and the tongue of the dumb will sing. Waters will burst forth in the wilderness and streams in the desert. The parched ground shall become a pool and the thirsty land springs of water.

Isaiah 35: 5-7

-Lori Whitehouse

Nowhere to Go

Nowhere to Go

In 1988 (after being stationed as a military family overseas) we returned back to the U.S., back to civilian life. I struggled with the lack of provision, something that was automatically provided as benefits to soldiers. Returning to civilian life posed its own challenges and the trials began. I began to question God and was disappointed with the direction the Lord was leading. I became angry in my heart. 

Driving on back roads through Oneonta, I saw a beautiful house and I said in my heart “I will have a house like that someday, no matter what I have to do!” 

That night I had a dream…I heard the sound of hissing and I knew instinctively (in my dream) that the U.S. was under a nuclear attack. As I looked around everything was gone. People were stumbling around in smoke choking, everything was black. I knew as I watched people screaming that many had died. What were once houses were now charred stubble. Everything was gone. In my dream, I was dying. And my dying cry was that I never got that house!

Pride, anger and rebellion rose in me that day and I am ashamed to say that idolatry had taken its’ root in my heart, which caused me to turn away from the Lord for a long time. I did get that house, but unable to enjoy it from my own bitterness, pride and rebellion, I lost everything and I fell flat on my face. I was left with nothing. 

Have you gone so far that everything has been taken from you? Do you feel that all is lost?

Now, 30 years later I still remember that dream vividly. See, when sin hardens your heart and you become angry with God, you open the door for:

1.) Pride – I can have all that I want
2.) Rebellion – I don’t need you God, I can do this on my own
3.) Entitlement – You’ve put me through so much, make this all right for me now, You owe me that. 

It did with me. 

Years ago, I had a revival – a sovereign gift of repentance fell on me as I wept for 16 hours and saw everything that I had done; every lie I had believed. This is true revival. It is so very painful. What it brought forth was complete brokenness and a solid dependence on the Lord. I gave Him my life, because I could not keep nor lose any more of it. 

Back to the dream…I am prophetic. I believe that the Lord was giving a warning, now I am warning those who have walked away. If you haven’t seen yet the world has nothing to offer, I feel sorry for you, but you will because I am praying for you. 

Buying more, obtaining more, more wealth, more success, more pride, more attention, more clothes, more folly. It is all a lie and a falsehood. The love of things and the pride of success eventually slapped me in the face and I was left with nowhere to go, but fall on it. 

If you are that person who has turned away. If you believe that you have strayed so far that there is no way you could ever come back (I did, too) email me: albanylori@gmail.com 

There is hope in Jesus and there is mercy for a lost sheep. I didn’t think I was lost until I knew that I had been found.

-Lori Whitehouse 

Repentance…the doorway to revival

Repentance…the doorway to revival

“I want you to be aware of what I am doing in this season,” says the Lord. “I am calling backsliders to come home and some are now coming. Even so, many are not… and need to be warned of the consequences of their sins. Some are already experiencing those consequences. Know that I am at work in the midst of all of this… drawing them back to Me. I have also been preparing ministers of righteousness. They’ve been purged from self righteousness and pride and can now carry My message of repentance. They will be powerful tools in My hand. Conviction of sin with the gift of repentance is the doorway to the revival you’ve been waiting for. Here what I am saying and do what I am doing,” says the Lord.

 


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